Friday, March 27, 2009

Cuddly or Independent????

Yeah, I know you are all thinking it...Finally a post without giveaways. So back to life of all things non-computer related. This week was spring break for the girls-I say was-because I feel like it's gone already and we didn't do anything fun and exciting. It has been pretty yucky weather much of the time this week except yesterday. We went to the library on Wednesday-even with the rain and without a stroller-I carried Brooke the entire time. Doing that and carrying books plus keeping tabs on the other girls gave me a workout. Physically, I can't wait for Brooke to walk-but my heart doesn't mind it as much-it makes her feel more like a baby to me than a toddler. Sooner or later I know I will have to watch her take those steps and say goodbye to that..but for now I am going to treasure each time I get to hold her-even if it kills my arms and my lower back is screaming.
This is what brings me to the title of my post:
My kids-aren't the cuddly type-they are the "push mom away because I want to be independent" type. They get hurt-I rush to kiss it better and yep-they push me away. Which is normal I guess because I was the same way-my mom tells me. It was especially difficult for me with Whitney because she was my first, and I was surrounded by other moms with their cuddly ones. I felt like I didn't get to bond with her because she would rather go off exploring than sit and hug on my lap. It got frustrating in public when she wouldn't sit still and it hurt my feelings until I dropped her off at Nursery for the first time in church and witnessed the separation anxiety of another kid. Screaming, clutching at his parents like he was going to die if they left-the parents feeling overwhelmed. Just one glimpse of that and I decided, Whitney was the Perfect Child, she at once had gone over and sat on the rug to listen to the story being read. Amazing!! And this was made clearer as I had more experiences with other children who were demanding and needed attention at every corner and I'd look at my children playing on their own-not calling for me every two minutes because there was a dog 50 yards away. Nope I LOVE my kids the way they are!! They are perfectly content to entertain themselves, are fearless (scary to me at times) and are never underfoot. This is way better than the alternative. And if you are the parent of a "clingy-mommy, i need you for everything" type-I am sorry. I have it way easy-but then again-yours are probably more cuddly.

And I have to add an update in basketball-Connecticut and Villanova both won-those are the two teams I have picked for the championship game in the NCAA tourney. So far so good.

4 comments :

NaDell said...

My kids are the same way.
They LOVE playing with other people.
They don't even remember I'm around when I drop them off somewhere and I don't think they cry when I leave.
They are well-adjusted and easy-going.
(They do like it when I come back, though.)
Independent kids are SO much easier.
My second was the only one (so far) who didn't like it when we left the nursery. That lasted a couple of months and she's fine now.
Do your kids entertain themselves well too? Mine do. I always read in the baby magazines that you could maybe expect them to entertain themselves for 10 minutes. Mine easily occupy themselves playing for 30 minutes at like 6 months.
I'm not the hover type though either.
I love independent kids now, but when they are teenagers, I'm pretty sure it will drive me crazy!

Em and Ms said...

I know exactly what you mean, as Madelyn is the same way. We left her with my MIL last week while we went on a trip. It was the first time we've left her, and she didn't even miss us! She does great in nursery, and plays really well on her own. It is great. But then, we still give her a bottle because that's our only chance to cuddle her :) I love that time first thing in the morning and right before bed.

Mandi said...

Wow, what a flash back! How are you? Where are you guys living now? Three beautiful girls...How time flies by. And yes, my youngest just decided at 18 months to become independent and I am missing the "mommy I need you" attitude! But relieved that I don't have to cart around a 25 pounder along with everything (and everyone) else.

Candria said...

Hi Arin! Thanks for the comment! I haven't heard from you in a long time! Very cute blog. I guess I'm lucky and have the best of both worlds. My kids are always on the go with things to do, but if I sit down for very long, they usually start climbing on my lap ready to cuddle. We'll keep Joe in our prayers. There are so many good friends of ours looking for jobs right now. I hope things improve soon!