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Thursday, November 05, 2009

My emotions crashing down on me.

Feeling OVERWHELMED today,

Maybe it's because my kids don't have school today and tomorrow due to parent teacher conferences. Maybe it's because I am an emotional wreck because of my pregnancy hormones. Maybe it is the struggle I am having getting a hold of Amber's pediatrician to get the referral i need to set up the appointment for her much needed evaluation with the Occ. Therapist. Maybe it's trying to keep my children out of the candy left over from halloween. Maybe it's the constant nagging for a playdate after my kids just spent half the day with the neighbor kids. Or perhaps it that my house can be clean one minute and a disaster the moment i turn around. Maybe it's trying to figure out how to lessen the meltdown moments i have with Amber. Or the fact that I don't get to spend enough time with children A and C because child B is more demanding and what am i thinking to add child D to the situation. Maybe it's the pressure to find out what gender child D is going to be. And the entire sick feeling I am experiencing because of Child D inside my body. Really it's probably all of the above and even more that I can't even express right now. Either I don't have the time or the there is so much going on inside my brain that I can't seperate or focus on any or all of them in the short time I have tor write this post before starting dinner. Here is my real moment of craziness and yes I have crazy days and days where my imperfections follow me until i break. It's all normal right? It's what being a mom is right? But at least I've seen miracles in my life and know that I have my own special mission and it uplifts me enough to think Maybe next year I will go as Supermom for halloween. Yep I am truly CRAZY!!

5 comments:

Nathan &; Rebecca said...

sounds like you need a hug and a night out alone with your hubby. let me know if i can help with either of these.

Jake and Angie said...

I hope everything gets better. I use to have a kid who has meltdowns, and I didn't know what to do, I took him to the doctor, and had him evaluted, and he finally outgrew it. SO I guess I got lucky. Although my three year-old is a terror!
Anyway, if all else fails, go to the temple.

maryellen (MOM) said...

Just know that your Mom is proud of you and that you do a wonderful job. YOU are what is most important. The family couldn't do without you. I've learned that no matter how many people say they understand, only the Lord truly knows your heart. Turn to him and you will be okay. I love you and miss you. Take care of yourself.. MOM

David and Kira said...

I thought the kids' costumes were cute! I think there is a time for everything. I didn't plant a garden this year because I was in the sick stage. Next year! Hope you feel well soon!!

Mikaela said...

I know exactly how you feel with child B! You have a lot of patience, so don't sell yourself short. It sounds like you just need a nice long nap, and then a nice long 10 hour sleep! :) Sleep does wonders. Pawn your kids off on someone and sleep! And, don't worry about giving more attention to child B. Maybe she needs you more now and won't as much in the future. You never know. If you ever need to talk, let me know. We can compare notes on what works and doesn't work. Just know you're doing the best that you can, and the Lord knows you can handle it. You were chosen to be the mother of these three beautiful girls, and the Lord knows you can handle Child D as well. You are amazing, and it's OK to feel overwhelmed. We all do!