I'm doing it-for my own good.

Okay so I fell off my healthy kick this week-horribly. Not once have I done zumba or lifted weights-(except carrying around my 19 lb son) and I have indulged in eating a bunch of stuff I really shouldn't have-it's birthday season at my house right now..and I have been just plain busy or too tired to do much exercise to counterbalance any of consequences. aaah. I had been doing so good-even got down to yes I am going to say it 145 lbs! I was 180 when Trevor was born and have lost 35 of it in the last 4 months. That sounds really good when I say it that way..but the reality is that 9 lbs of it was baby...at least another 10 was fluid (this I lost right away) and another 10 was probably water retention that I lost a month later. SO really I can only claim to have lost 10 on my own. I still am proud-considering that after the initial "right after birth" loss-I never lose any more until I am finished nursing. So this time around-since I gained so much, I had decided to kick myself into eating healthier -tons of fiber, low sugar, low fat diet (since I cannot really do much about limiting my calorie intake since I am nursing..I am also doing cardio for 25 minutes 5 times a week. Thus far it hasn't been bad-but this week hit and I haven't yet recovered. So I am going to periodically post about my journey to a fitter me ( i don't really like the word diet). Hopefully it will make me more accountable and motivated and one day I can look back and see my progress and feel wonderful about my accomplishment! Sorry if you read this and are like..bleh bleh bleh..I just needed to record it for my own sake. Mind you I do not expect to be twig thin like before my first child-so don't hyperventilate and tell me how wrong I am for wanting to lose weight and that I am okay the way I am...seriously i know my body and at 145-I am heavy for me. Consider I was at least 30 lbs lighter when I was married...and I have a small frame and I have serious back pain and plantar fasciitis-among other issues. For my own HEALTH and not Vanity reasons is why I am so determined to put less stress on my body. I am tired of the pain I feel from it...oh and guess what ?? I was this same weight when I was 9 months pregnant with Amber (she was 8lbs) and I remember just how miserable i was. SO please please please encourage me to be healthy and not to continue down a path of validating how it's okay to just let things go.